Jab koi rishta toot jaata hai
Jab koi kabhi na lautne ke liye chala jaata hai
To ahem aage aa jaata hai
Apne aap ko sambhalna mujhe aata hai
Doston ke saath rona
Aadhi raat ko usse kosna
Sab ho jaata hai
Kaam mein mazaa aane lagta hai
Apni peeth thap thapaane mein sukoon milta hai
Aur phir lagta hai sab theek hai
Par aisa hota nahi
Achanak itne dinon baad uski di huyi koi cheez haath lag jati hai
Raaste mein vohi chai ki dukaan aa jaati hai jahan hum donon barish mein chai peene jaate the
Tv par itne mahinon baad vo ad dubara aati hai jiski vo nakal utarta tha
Kissi se pehli baar mulaqaat hoti hai aur uska bhi vohi daant toota huya nikalta hai
Computer on karoon to uski kheenchi huyi tasveerein nazar aati hai
Radio par “hamara” gaana aa raha hai
Khatti dal uski favourite thi to ab maine banani chhod di hai
Mera mukaish wala dupatta usse bahut pasand tha to ab chupa diya
Rona bhi nahi aata ab
Par sach hi kaha tha kisine
Sara ghar le gaya ghar chhod ke jaane wala….
Monday, July 21, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Gets my goat
Ok so I want to list my peeves, I hope you identify with some
Ø People who call and then go into the “aur kya ho raha hai” mode
Ø People who make films only to impress their friends
Ø Unexpected expenses that land up just when you thought you could save
Ø Indians who get an accent by going to the airport
Ø Friends who don’t get it and you cant put everything in the largest font size
Ø Fashion slaves, stop! Look at the mirror or ask your mom for her opinion
Ø People who watch soaps and if that’s not bad enough they want to talk about it
Ø Emotional blackmail via messages or mails I have to forward to be blessed
Ø Gifts that I don’t like but cant chuck either. Next time please ask me what I want
Ø People who talk about the good old times and only about that
Ø Sugar free chocolates that are not fat free
Ø The stock exchange that has mood swings worst than mine
Ø Men who don’t get it that you want to be just friends
Ø Cheats. Specially the vendors who “forget” to calculate
Ø The stupid ad on tv that says have a happy period. Ya right!
Ø People who call and then go into the “aur kya ho raha hai” mode
Ø People who make films only to impress their friends
Ø Unexpected expenses that land up just when you thought you could save
Ø Indians who get an accent by going to the airport
Ø Friends who don’t get it and you cant put everything in the largest font size
Ø Fashion slaves, stop! Look at the mirror or ask your mom for her opinion
Ø People who watch soaps and if that’s not bad enough they want to talk about it
Ø Emotional blackmail via messages or mails I have to forward to be blessed
Ø Gifts that I don’t like but cant chuck either. Next time please ask me what I want
Ø People who talk about the good old times and only about that
Ø Sugar free chocolates that are not fat free
Ø The stock exchange that has mood swings worst than mine
Ø Men who don’t get it that you want to be just friends
Ø Cheats. Specially the vendors who “forget” to calculate
Ø The stupid ad on tv that says have a happy period. Ya right!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
baby steps
Whether it’s a lottery you win or a terminal illness you contract all it takes is a month to get used to the situation. I read this yesterday and it set me thinking. Just look around, almost everyone has made peace with their situation and go about their lives thinking this is as good as it gets. Crib, moan, complain but do nothing to change the situation. Continue being stuck in a job that gives no joy, just a pay check. In a marriage where you are miserable but you have the false sense of security that my partner will take care of me when there is a crisis. Do things mindlessly because everyone is doing it. Whether it’s socializing with relatives you don’t like, going to parties that bore the hell out of you or go to the funeral of someone you didn’t particularly like.
And then blame. Blame god, your family, your spouse, your boss, the government, fate, the bush regime, your zodiac sign or the black cat that crossed your path.
Getting out of the comfort zone is tough. Very tough. If you don’t let other’s take all the decisions for you how will you function? And more importantly who will you blame when things go wrong???
Try it, taking responsibility for your own happiness, even in the smallest of matters is such fun
I am trying….
And then blame. Blame god, your family, your spouse, your boss, the government, fate, the bush regime, your zodiac sign or the black cat that crossed your path.
Getting out of the comfort zone is tough. Very tough. If you don’t let other’s take all the decisions for you how will you function? And more importantly who will you blame when things go wrong???
Try it, taking responsibility for your own happiness, even in the smallest of matters is such fun
I am trying….
Monday, July 14, 2008
Control freaks
Losing control is perhaps most people’s biggest fear
Losing control over one’s physical being must be awful
Depending on people for the smallest thing is scary
A few days of being restricted at home has given me a taste
And realized that having control over your mind is the trick
Wallow in self pity or use the time to learn new things, the choice is yours
Yet at most times we get our only high from things outside our control
The job that gets you the accolades and the fat pay check
And when you lose that it does feel like you have lost all
The relationship where you call the shots. The partner who is so dependent on you.
What happens when they walk out?
Am sure you don’t even want to get there
The dream home that contains everything that money can buy
And you lose it to the tsunami that is illogical
The car, the blackberry that is your life line, the maid who keeps you going
Isn’t the thought of losing any of this daunting?
But it happens
And when you least expect it
Which is why it’s imperative that you make friends with your mind
The one which is in your control
And helps you remember that what you have inside you is much bigger than everything outside…
Losing control over one’s physical being must be awful
Depending on people for the smallest thing is scary
A few days of being restricted at home has given me a taste
And realized that having control over your mind is the trick
Wallow in self pity or use the time to learn new things, the choice is yours
Yet at most times we get our only high from things outside our control
The job that gets you the accolades and the fat pay check
And when you lose that it does feel like you have lost all
The relationship where you call the shots. The partner who is so dependent on you.
What happens when they walk out?
Am sure you don’t even want to get there
The dream home that contains everything that money can buy
And you lose it to the tsunami that is illogical
The car, the blackberry that is your life line, the maid who keeps you going
Isn’t the thought of losing any of this daunting?
But it happens
And when you least expect it
Which is why it’s imperative that you make friends with your mind
The one which is in your control
And helps you remember that what you have inside you is much bigger than everything outside…
Zara
Mera naam zara hai. Kuch log mujhe zara sheikh bulate hai, kuch zara shrivastav ke naam se jaante hai.
Ab mujhe bistar par karvat badalte huye 15 minut ho chuke hai. Uthkar bahar jaane ka bilkul mann nahi. Saath soye mere pati sunil ko kuch nahi pata. Usse batana chaahti hoon par kya kahoon aur kaise?
Dus mahine pehle jab humne shaadi karne ki sochi thi tab hum dono jaante the ke hamare mazhab alag hai, hum mazhabi ho ya na ho, alag to hai
Mere ammi abbu hai aur sunil ke ma babuji. Par issse kya farak padhta hai? Hai progressive insaan hai, dono iss zameen par 30 saal se zyaada tey kar chuke hai, main ad agency mein hoon, sunil MNC mein. Humme in sab cheezon se kuch vaasta nahi
Laga tha court marriage aur reception ke dauran kuch dikkat ho gi, par aisa kuch nahi huya. Shayaad ishq ka jazbaa itna chhaya huya tha ke aur kuch dikhna hi nahi tha. Ab bhi kuch badla nahi hai, mujhe kabhi kabhi sindoor lagana achcha lagta hai aur sunil ko eid ke eid kurta pyjama pehnna gavara hai
Ab pichle ek hafte se ma babuji hamare paas aaye huye hai. Do hafte ki chuttiyan hai isliye. Hamari shaadi ke baad pehli baar.
Mujh se zyaada tension sunil ko thi. Paar main to khush thi…hoon. Saath rehne se to hi jaan sakte hain ek doosre ko. Aur maine decide kar liya tha ke agar ma ne kuch keh diya to bhi koi baat nahi, iss umr mein vo kahan badlengi aur phir do hafton ki ho to baat hai
Lekin ab bura lag raha hai, chhoti chhoti baton pe. Aur gussa apne aap pe aa raha tha. Kya samajh ke maine ammi ko kaha tha ke unhe dinner pe bula lo. Kaise vo mussalman ke ghar kha sakte? Chahe khana shudh shakahari kyun na ho. End mein vegetarian restaurant gaaye aur bahut hi painful shaam thi.
Jab babuji ne poocha beta sunil ghar mein bhagwanji nahi hai, to ma ne mujhe kyun ghur ke dekha? Jab raat coffee peete huye unhone ne poocha bachche kiss mazhab ke honge to sunil ne bina meri taraf dekhe bhi keh diya: yeh kaisa sawaal hai, hindu honge obviously. Jab sab ke minnat karne pe babuji ne chhaunk wale aloo bannane ke liye hami bhari, sabziyon ke saath vo bazaar se nayi kadai bhi lekar kyun aaye. Kya vo nahi jaante ke humare barton mein, mujh se zyaada, unka beta hi non veg banata hai? Agar mujhe kisine bataya nahi to main har subah suryanamaskar kaise karti?
Par in sab baton se zyaada mujhe koft iss baat se hai ke main kissi aur ke kehne par apna self confidence kyun kho rahi hoon…
Ab mujhe bistar par karvat badalte huye 15 minut ho chuke hai. Uthkar bahar jaane ka bilkul mann nahi. Saath soye mere pati sunil ko kuch nahi pata. Usse batana chaahti hoon par kya kahoon aur kaise?
Dus mahine pehle jab humne shaadi karne ki sochi thi tab hum dono jaante the ke hamare mazhab alag hai, hum mazhabi ho ya na ho, alag to hai
Mere ammi abbu hai aur sunil ke ma babuji. Par issse kya farak padhta hai? Hai progressive insaan hai, dono iss zameen par 30 saal se zyaada tey kar chuke hai, main ad agency mein hoon, sunil MNC mein. Humme in sab cheezon se kuch vaasta nahi
Laga tha court marriage aur reception ke dauran kuch dikkat ho gi, par aisa kuch nahi huya. Shayaad ishq ka jazbaa itna chhaya huya tha ke aur kuch dikhna hi nahi tha. Ab bhi kuch badla nahi hai, mujhe kabhi kabhi sindoor lagana achcha lagta hai aur sunil ko eid ke eid kurta pyjama pehnna gavara hai
Ab pichle ek hafte se ma babuji hamare paas aaye huye hai. Do hafte ki chuttiyan hai isliye. Hamari shaadi ke baad pehli baar.
Mujh se zyaada tension sunil ko thi. Paar main to khush thi…hoon. Saath rehne se to hi jaan sakte hain ek doosre ko. Aur maine decide kar liya tha ke agar ma ne kuch keh diya to bhi koi baat nahi, iss umr mein vo kahan badlengi aur phir do hafton ki ho to baat hai
Lekin ab bura lag raha hai, chhoti chhoti baton pe. Aur gussa apne aap pe aa raha tha. Kya samajh ke maine ammi ko kaha tha ke unhe dinner pe bula lo. Kaise vo mussalman ke ghar kha sakte? Chahe khana shudh shakahari kyun na ho. End mein vegetarian restaurant gaaye aur bahut hi painful shaam thi.
Jab babuji ne poocha beta sunil ghar mein bhagwanji nahi hai, to ma ne mujhe kyun ghur ke dekha? Jab raat coffee peete huye unhone ne poocha bachche kiss mazhab ke honge to sunil ne bina meri taraf dekhe bhi keh diya: yeh kaisa sawaal hai, hindu honge obviously. Jab sab ke minnat karne pe babuji ne chhaunk wale aloo bannane ke liye hami bhari, sabziyon ke saath vo bazaar se nayi kadai bhi lekar kyun aaye. Kya vo nahi jaante ke humare barton mein, mujh se zyaada, unka beta hi non veg banata hai? Agar mujhe kisine bataya nahi to main har subah suryanamaskar kaise karti?
Par in sab baton se zyaada mujhe koft iss baat se hai ke main kissi aur ke kehne par apna self confidence kyun kho rahi hoon…
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
The hour glass
Much as he denied it, Jatin loved it when 3 people rushed to his car as soon as he screeched in outside his glass and chrome office. Someone to open the door and then park the car, someone to carry his stuff, one guy who would get his well ironed suit that was on the hanger in the back seat.
From here on it was a “regular” day at work for Jatin. The amount of people he acknowledged walking the short distance to his cabin was crazy. His steaming hot black coffee and a fresh pack of cigarettes on his table made him glad again for stella, his ever efficient pa. stella who wore only shades of cream and white since boss did not approve of her wearing colours. She was on the team of the CEO, she could not dress like the loud kind who traveled by local train.
Meetings began as soon as he stepped in. people outside who could see him flaying his arms and gesticulating wildly would try and put words to the act, depending on who was at the receiving end.
Jatin could have the marketing head in front of him and tell him that dattaram, the office boy, did not like the colour scheme so there was no room for discussion. A very valid point but the way jatin put it made anyone seem like a worm. Jatin was good for the business, in fact he was great. Profits had gone up 43% in the last year. Investors were ecstatic. The buzz in the market was great, he had made it to the cover of the top notch business magazine and life was good.
Post a grueling session with foreign investors came the tv interview and then stella walked in to discuss his travel schedule for the next 3 days. Tonight he had the business awards to attend. Tomorrow post the board meeting he had to be in Bangalore for the fashion show. Friday evening was dubai for a film premiere and the next afternoon was the polo match in delhi. Stella informed him that he could not attend that since sat was anushka’s birthday. She had booked them a table at zodiac grill. Now jatin was irritated, why did his wife have to schedule her birthday on the day of the all important polo match. The MD wanted him to hob nob with the delhi politicos and this was the perfect opportunity.
On the way back to the suburbs where he was going to attend the business awards, jatin thought about the farce of a marriage they had. Anushka refused to be the trophy wife and so he refused to believe she exsisted. He never asked about the work she did, he vaguely knew she helped at some NGO and she scorned at his work and lifestyle. Well that did not stop her from using the car and driver he had kept at her disposal or from maxing out the add on credit card each month. They had separate bedrooms for ages now. Jatin, anyway didn’t like women who spoke when he was horny. Wild sex as opposed to making love was what he wanted…and got. He never ever paid for it though, for some women, unlike his wife, it was a high to be screwed by such a powerful man.
The only times, the two of them were forced to eat together was when his mom or his sister and his kids were over from delhi. He took lesser calls during dinner those evenings and with the kids he really had fun. Those are perhaps the only times that he wished he had a more understanding wife so they could have babies.
During interviews when people asked him about his hobbies he rattled them off with ease. Golf, drag racing, power boxing, reading, movies and cooking. The reality was that he did none of this. Other than working out at his personal gym every morning and reading at night, reading mails and files on what the spies had dug out on competition.
He enjoyed this madness and would not trade it for anything, 4 hours of sleep and 50 cigarettes a day worked just fine for him. He did not have friends since he did not trust people and friends from his delhi days were people he was now ashamed of.
Slow down beta was the only thing his simple docile mother would say during the perfunctory weekly call he made.
That is what his doc had also said the last time he saw him, which was about 2 years ago.
A sudden shooting pain as he was climbing down the stairs and his legs giving way was scary. He was rushed to the ICU. When he got conscious he saw his office gang looking very serious and somber, he also saw his mom and anushka. Having been with her for the last twenty years he just saw the look on her face and knew it was all over….
From here on it was a “regular” day at work for Jatin. The amount of people he acknowledged walking the short distance to his cabin was crazy. His steaming hot black coffee and a fresh pack of cigarettes on his table made him glad again for stella, his ever efficient pa. stella who wore only shades of cream and white since boss did not approve of her wearing colours. She was on the team of the CEO, she could not dress like the loud kind who traveled by local train.
Meetings began as soon as he stepped in. people outside who could see him flaying his arms and gesticulating wildly would try and put words to the act, depending on who was at the receiving end.
Jatin could have the marketing head in front of him and tell him that dattaram, the office boy, did not like the colour scheme so there was no room for discussion. A very valid point but the way jatin put it made anyone seem like a worm. Jatin was good for the business, in fact he was great. Profits had gone up 43% in the last year. Investors were ecstatic. The buzz in the market was great, he had made it to the cover of the top notch business magazine and life was good.
Post a grueling session with foreign investors came the tv interview and then stella walked in to discuss his travel schedule for the next 3 days. Tonight he had the business awards to attend. Tomorrow post the board meeting he had to be in Bangalore for the fashion show. Friday evening was dubai for a film premiere and the next afternoon was the polo match in delhi. Stella informed him that he could not attend that since sat was anushka’s birthday. She had booked them a table at zodiac grill. Now jatin was irritated, why did his wife have to schedule her birthday on the day of the all important polo match. The MD wanted him to hob nob with the delhi politicos and this was the perfect opportunity.
On the way back to the suburbs where he was going to attend the business awards, jatin thought about the farce of a marriage they had. Anushka refused to be the trophy wife and so he refused to believe she exsisted. He never asked about the work she did, he vaguely knew she helped at some NGO and she scorned at his work and lifestyle. Well that did not stop her from using the car and driver he had kept at her disposal or from maxing out the add on credit card each month. They had separate bedrooms for ages now. Jatin, anyway didn’t like women who spoke when he was horny. Wild sex as opposed to making love was what he wanted…and got. He never ever paid for it though, for some women, unlike his wife, it was a high to be screwed by such a powerful man.
The only times, the two of them were forced to eat together was when his mom or his sister and his kids were over from delhi. He took lesser calls during dinner those evenings and with the kids he really had fun. Those are perhaps the only times that he wished he had a more understanding wife so they could have babies.
During interviews when people asked him about his hobbies he rattled them off with ease. Golf, drag racing, power boxing, reading, movies and cooking. The reality was that he did none of this. Other than working out at his personal gym every morning and reading at night, reading mails and files on what the spies had dug out on competition.
He enjoyed this madness and would not trade it for anything, 4 hours of sleep and 50 cigarettes a day worked just fine for him. He did not have friends since he did not trust people and friends from his delhi days were people he was now ashamed of.
Slow down beta was the only thing his simple docile mother would say during the perfunctory weekly call he made.
That is what his doc had also said the last time he saw him, which was about 2 years ago.
A sudden shooting pain as he was climbing down the stairs and his legs giving way was scary. He was rushed to the ICU. When he got conscious he saw his office gang looking very serious and somber, he also saw his mom and anushka. Having been with her for the last twenty years he just saw the look on her face and knew it was all over….
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